Thursday, June 21, 2007


I'd like to say hello and wish a hearty L'Chaim to Adam for inviting me to write my inane complaints on this lovely, lovely little blog he's got here. He and I go way back, back to when we were just stupid kids. It all started at Pokey's Boxing Academy in Canarsie, Brooklyn. We were 2 stupid teenagers, caught up in the usual ghetto diversions of drugs, crime, and skipping school. Then Pokey came into our lives and taught us about hard work, responsibility, discipline, honor, and kicking ass. He was a great man, and he will be missed by all those who were touched by his heart and his faith in the human condition. Just why he was named Pokey nobody knows; word has it he killed the last 2 people who asked.

Anyway, back to me and the owner of this e-stablishment. Through the years I managed to give Adam a few good ass-kickings in and out of the ring; I even managed to knock a few of his teeth out. Once he gave me stitches above my left eye, but we (mostly he) took it in stride, and we're the better for it.

I now find myself in this privileged position, procrastinating at the end of the normal workday, before I can begin to start calling people at their homes and harassing them to help me do the work it is that I do. No, I don't steal from Grannies, but at the moment I find myself with some free time to broadcast my thoughts to the [pathetic] few people reading this.

I'll start with a few lighter topics that aren't covered very much by the MSM -- race and politics. I just figured I'd start out real creatively, and since there is hardly any coverage of these topics in everything else you read, I knew this would be a real catchy way to rope you in. This morning, and every other morning, I read the NYTimes online. There was a good op-ed, which you probably can't read if you're not a TimesSelect member, that said that the Republicans are shooting themselves in the foot by being anti-immigrant. Even Trent Lott, that political wonderboy, came down on the people who want to deport all the Pablos and the Juanitas. The rationale behind the article is that you may want send Pablo and Juanita back to their pueblo in Guadalajara, but they fornicated after that coyote brought them across the border into El Paso, and 9 months later Juanita gave birth to little Manuel. Manuel is now nearing voting age, and he is not about to vote for the Republicans. Sure, Bush wants Manuel to stay so that he can mow lawns for cheap wages, thereby allowing more rich people from Texas to have more money to give to Dubya-related causes, but Georgy Boy is out of step with his party here, so if all goes according to plan then 2008 will be a very good election year for the Dem's. Unless Bloomberg runs, that is, in which case independent-minded Jew Democrats such as myself will waste our votes on some dude that will fuck things up for the Democrats.

(Right there I wanted to say some sort of nickname for the Democrats, but I don't know one besides "Dems". I wish they had some sort of term like GOP that's way catchy. Why, anyway, is it called the GOP? I don't get it. I'm now creating my first giveaway, for which the winner will receive a gift certificate to Nobody Beats the Wiz. Simply email and tell me why the hell it's called the GOP. Easy money, right? Actually, it's just a ploy on my part to get a little action, get the people talkin', about all the wisdom I'm dishing out in my inaugural post.)

Anyway, back to Juanita and Manuel. So I went to the Manu Chao show the other nite here in the Windy City and had a rockin' good time. Besides the fact that I felt he played a good show, I also realized that it was about 100 million degrees in the Aragon Ballroom, one of those cool old venues that was built before anybody had ever heard of AC. It was so hot in there that all of the white boys--and their girlfriends who had never heard of Manu Chao--cleared out of the searing heat in front of the stage. This development led to most of the space being taken up by little Manuel and his other 3,000 or so Latino friends who came out to the show. As I sat there, listening to the music and admiring the fact that I was actually at a show where not EVERYBODY was a white kid who grew up in the suburbs, I too came to the realization that there are lots of little Manuels running around, and even if they're as apathetic as the general American population when it comes to actually voting on election day, they could still be a very important part of the electorate for years to come. Now, many of you will say that the extra cannabis coarsing through my brain at that time caused me to jump to conclusions and start babbling all this crazy talk, and that little Manuel and his buddies probably were illegals who can't vote. There's a chance you may be right, but I'm gonna stick to my guns here. Manu Chao is not running any sort of salsa band that appeals to random Mexicanos from shitty little villages that nobody's ever heard of. This guy is pure Eurotrash, and it takes a certain sort of urban taste and background to dig his sound. My own bloodshot eyes saw little Manuel and his buddies looking more like normal American kids than like dirty immigrants with leprosy, and I hope they vote as soon as they possibly can. Otherwise our government is going to continue to fight the good fight for the people who need it most, like the oil companies.


Blogger Adam said...

Welcome Mister Lister, thanks for joining the blog of brotherly love. It's a pleasure to see the only tick on the blog this week not be from me, as the daunting responsibilities that come with this page seem to have been lifted free of the stangle hold on my shoulders.

We look forward to many more and perhaps we'll even change the name one day to reflect the growing madness that exists outside of just my world.

By the way, where the hell did Nobody Beats the Wiz come from. They declared bankruptcy, became just "The Wiz," spent a lot of money re-inventing the place, and then saw it swiftly go out of business for good. I believe it was a Cablevision venture, which would explain its pension towards failure. Is the Wiz really back and does nobody beat it?


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