Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Hot Dangit

Well my love for el presidente has always been at an all time low for a few years now, so nothing new, but in the tradition of "fuck the Pope!" the Decider has decided to interfere in my personal life by scheduling a photo op with black children in Harlem (No Child Left Behind must work if black kids given no choice are on camera with him), thus preventing my parents from entering the island of Manhattan without painstaking traffic, and thus ruining a tasty dinner scheduled at Cacio e Pepe. Oh yea it's 6pm, photo op over, now it's time to raise money at the Waldorf. According to the link, he visited a charter school, meaning one of those schools completely independent within the NYC Public Schools system that Bloomberg and company deserve credit for because it has nothing to do with No Child Left Behind. Way to go jackass.

His "attack dog" was on the prowl today after getting his 97th blood clot check up (the man still has no pulse), and his tormented in high school political adviser tried to take a bite out of Larry David's wife until he realized she wasn't the hot one from the HBO show, forcing him to turn his Frankenstein head and aim for Sheryl Crow instead.

Although I'm all for Jessica Lynch testifying before Congress that she was in fact never shot in the leg and she's exposing a few more lies, I can't help but think how she's had her Monica Lewinsky moment in Washington by being an ugly hick that all of a sudden looks halfway decent. Perhaps the Decider's penis has also been in her mouth and he really does deserve to be removed from office, but that's a longer shot than getting Russell Simmons to bar three very naughty words from rap music.

Speaking of rap, that combined with my endless obsession for Don Imus yields quite an awesome response from Snoop:
It's a completely different scenario," said Snoop, barking over the phone from a hotel room in L.A. "[Rappers] are not talking about no collegiate basketball girls who have made it to the next level in education and sports. We're talking about h-s that's in the 'hood that ain't doing shit, that's trying to get a nigga for his money. These are two separate things. First of all, we ain't no old-ass white men that sit up on MSNBC [the cable network home to Imus] going hard on black girls. We are rappers that have these songs coming from our minds and our souls that are relevant to what we feel. I will not let them muthafuckas say we in the same league as him.
The version I pulled this from can be found here, but notice how I made the Imus-PC corrections by filling in the n-word and f-word, but that I slyly leave the newest stigma of an "h" word out, as I don't want to get fired from Blogger by Google just as they have agreed to hire me by acquiring the company I work for. So many fronts of irony indeed... In all seriousness, Snoop says he has grown up, and although his music currently sucks, I must agree that he's got a damn good point and is as articulate as speaking like that can make him.

Ok, that's 8 links and a lot of rambling, time to go. Please just remember that if you ever leave me a voicemail, why don't you try identifying yourself first, who you are, what you do, why I want to call you back, and then leave your goddam phone number at the end of the message so I actually have a pen and paper in hand. It just doesn't work in the reverse order.


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