Monday, July 30, 2007

A Few Things

These are all most random thoughts that have been accumulating in my noggin, let's see how they look on digital paper:

-I get very proud of myself for recycling, like I can be Al Gore's son or something (woops), but then I realized I get most proud of myself for recycling when it's 1am and I see 40 empty beer bottles littering the place. Rather than chuck them in the garbage and race the bag to the trash room in the attempt of avoiding garbage beer juice from leaking out, I take said bottles, wash them with water, let dry, and eventually put in special recycling bag days later. Does this make me an environmentalist, or maybe just a sentimental drunk? I guess that without booze we'd never know, so thank you Bud, Brooklyn, and Dogfish Head for making me feel like I'm doing my part.

-Yesterday's headlines and crappy local news stories about how wonderful it was that Iraqis were able to celebrate their country's soccer team with only the scare of gunfire was not that inspiring. Soccer teams don't do shit for war strategy, yet the (presumably not drunk) sentimental newscasters made it seem like George Bush had just pulled out his greatest play yet. Damn MSM. We killed their cousins, but apparently Iraqis love us because they can celebrate under US troop protection when they beat those Sunni bastard lovin Saudi Arabians.

-Speaking of beating the Saudi Arabians, why is it supposed to be a good idea to offer $20 billion in advanced weaponry to a country that jacks off to jihad? How is Iraq supposed to not get beaten by Saudi Arabia in non-soccer combat when this shit happens? Why is this money justifiable because of "Iran's growing influence in the region?" Why is it okay that "Iran's growing influence in the region" is a direct effect of The Decider taking out the now seemingly trustworthy Saddam Hussein, and we must now counter that by giving weapons to a country that we should have invaded instead?

Rummy gave Saddam and Afghanis weapons back in the day to counter Iran and Russia, respectively, so the only logic that we won't have to go fix this mistake and invade Saudi Arabia in the future is because of the fact that the US is their bitch. So pretty much we can't bomb our way out of this one next time a drunken retard Republican is in office sometime in the next 30 years. I always knew that more weapons and more military contracts were our way out of a fucked future in the most fucked region of the world, glad someone finally had the balls to do this.

-As I attempted to take the 1,2,3 uptown at 14th St. circa 2pm today, the trains were shut down because "there's a body stuck under the train," according to the MTA employees who told us to scram. There were no screams or calls for help, but I couldn't help but wonder, "is this a dead or alive body?" and "will I get the skinny on NY1 later this evening or will this forever be a shady moment in New York City Transit History?" If only I wasn't late for a meeting and instead I could have stayed to provide the same helpful services I do an empty beer bottle at 1am...idiots shouldn't be falling on the tracks anyway, serves them right.

-6:30pm is early for dinner for me, I'm out

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