Friday, February 09, 2007

My morals are in question

Just when I thought I was okay with the fact that I partied more in college rather than take Orgo and that despite the fact that I'm not a doctor and I don't save lives, at least I'm not in a profession that involves sucking the blood of others or eating your young, right? Well, I specifically work with websites rather than the advertisers these websites are responsible for whoring themselves out to, so I've gotten to avoid any sales pitch to evil companies like GM, who not only have a bad ad campaign, but also sue the State of California in their spare time for passing legislation that raises emissions standards.

Unfortunately I've spotted something that I can no longer consider morally objective in the quest for draining the advertising budgets of leading companies and their agencies, and I've decided to share it with you despite the fact that it's in fairly poor taste for me to spread around the preview links for campaigns that may or may not already be in flight. Even so, every time you look at it, that's a few more fractions of a penny that we have to pay our bandwidth hoster all the way over in Asia, but since there's no video it's really not that big a deal. Actually, scratch that, I'm just going to show you a still image and not provide the link in the hopes that Google Blogger won't figure out how to hack our system. Irregardless, as people who think that's a real word would say, I present to thee "Abstinence Only," brought to you by the State of Arizona Department of Health Services. Don't they have real problems such as militiamen and cowboys going on murderous rampages of anyone without a green card?

In case you can't read the little non-scandalous IM conversation in the left half of the ad, Stacy wants to have a successful career and Jeff wants to complete his education. While these two are clearly blessed to not have had any encounters with Mark Foley, perhaps Jeff will rest a little easier during exams and Stacy won't become the office hoebag upon getting that career if either one of them would instead choose to indulge in their wild sides every once in awhile. I'm a big fan of moderation, and perhaps both of these Rtards won't grow up to be such losers if they (a) avoid being promiscuous sluts and (b) don't spend the rest of their lives jacking off. I'd give them a little credit if they at least wanted to phrase this in the context of avoiding STD's, but that's clearly not the case here.

Both Stacy and Jeff are doomed, and the terrorist right wingers within our government have won this battle if they're allowed to spend money on this crap. Just as the eco-terrorists in South Park win in the lovable "Douche and Turd" episode, hopefully Puff Daddy will go shoot some of their asses up and let us all live our lives.

In a sign that the terrorists have lost, the President of Turner Advertising has resigned after the scandalous Cartoon Network campaign involving scares that cost the media shop and its creative partner a combined $2 million in wasting the emergency services of Boston. That shit was kind of funny, sucks that someone had to lose their jobs over this, but I guess terrorist scares can't go unpunished. Someone reprimand Arizona please! I hope you all enjoy a nice good shag this weekend in honor of Stacy and Jeff. I'm out laters.


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