Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Eloped

Doesn't that word sound more like what a kangaroo does when it jumps? Well it does not mean that, but instead refers to what my friend did this past weekend, marking the first time that I have seen a non-family member or non-family friend get married. Yes, my friends, me the bumbly 24 year old now and for the first time ever has a close friend engaged in wedlock. Other than the current size of my stomach from the massive amounts of food and booze all weekend I don't actually think that much has changed with me, thankfully. I guess it doesn't really surprise me, but I was fearful of waking up with no hair and a lack of erection, so I'm happy to report that my friend getting married doesn't seem to affect my sorry state of existence.

Di and Jon, I am most happy for you two and jealous that you are currently on a beach in Aruba. Other things that make me happy these days: Lets see...Darryl Strawberry will be throwing out the first pitch of tomorrow's NLCS, and that is pretty friggin awesome. Rumor has it that a nasty (meaning good) shipment of blow is circulating around this crazy city, and I have a feeling that my main man Darryl might be down for some socializing. OK that's a stretch, but my guess is that he's already got his hands wrapped around that one. Speaking of Mets and joy, said wedding on Saturday night consisted of quality food, top shelf booze, the Yankees and Gay-Rod disintegrating, and the Mets whoopin some laid back LA ass.

All this was happening while I was enjoying the confines of cocktail hour with non other than Chris "Mad Dog" Russo, although I was not pain in the ass enough to bother him and talk baseball, unlike so many others around me. Reminds me of the time I met Chelsea Clinton at Solas a year ago and pretended like I didn't know who she was. I guess that's just as dumb a move as being annoying because she could smell the transparency during our conversation, but I still maintain my pride in not harrassing celebrities. It was pretty easy with Chelsea cause I would much rather sleep with her father than her anyway, so there were none of those saucy intentions in my mingling, just standard awe of the fact that her dad is the smoothest person to walk the face of the planet. Does Chelsea feel honored when she gets in a cab because two neighborhoods on Manhattan's West Side are named after her? (Despite the fact that one of them is truly Hell's Kitchen)

I can't believe Denny Hastert held a press conference earlier today with a cemetery in the background, this guy really isn't too smart if you ask me and I'd even suspect him of sweating male children if he didn't look like a senior version of Peter Griffin.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Mike Levy said...

FYI - Dennis Hastert was a gym teacher before he became a public servant. Just wanted to put his actions into context.

17:40  
Blogger Adam said...

Thank you for your kind insight Mr. Levy and for your readership. I did not know that but you now currently reside in said douchebag's home state, so I hope he didn't slap to many boyish looking asses when getting intense about high socks and communal showers. Those crazy 70's gym teachers. PS why is he so fat if he majored in physical education?

18:06  

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