Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Foley, Nebraska, me

Since this Foley guy was first outed on Friday for hitting on teenage boy staffers, it turns out he's an alcoholic and was molested by a clergyman when he was younger...If only I believed the guy. When people get drunk their inner emotions come out, but they don't automatically convert their inner-emotions to wanting young boys. This guy's obviously already got a member ID card for NAMBLA, yet he blames good ole truth serum. This makes less sense than Mel Gibson going to rehab for dissing on Jews, but at least he was drunk when he did thy bidding. PS, since when are there Jewish cops anyway? Ironic that Mr. Gibson found one to berate, although he was in Malibu. Perhaps the Pope requires some alcohol rehab for dissing on Muslims? Damn drunken assholes.

I saw a girl wearing a t-shirt last week that said "Not Everything in Nebraska is Flat." I guess she gets some kudos for wearing it, but whoever created the shirt gets my award for most clever random t-shirt in awhile. I guess even Nebraskans can dig deep for their pride, or maybe that pride was being worn right on the surface and therefore no digging was done?

I saw STS9 last weekend and I've decided that I really hate hippies. I know that authentic hippies are pretty cool, but except for real 60's hippies and their direct descendants, all the hippies I see out there are just fake hippies that eat too much ecstacy and piss me off, thus diluting the pool of true hippy talent. The real ones have all aged gracefully and are not really in the mainstream anymore, especially on a Saturday night in Times Square (did I mention how much I hate Times Square?). South Park has quite the influence over my life (new episode tonight woohoo!), and it's possible that Eric Cartman has convinced me to hate the hippies that I once so revered, but seriously I would take a Richard Nixon like approach to this new breed of rabble rousers if given the chance. Instead of gathering in public to protest the Iraq war, they now gather over the internet to discuss last night's bass-line, see who has the better quality version of the show from last month, and discuss who ate the purest MDMA and which ass-clown in costume was selling it so they know whom to look out for when they get together tomorrow night.

As an aside, I might be going a little far, as the Nokia Theatre in Times Square on a Saturday night did have its fair share of metropolitan-area douchebag high schoolers. I was once one myself and thankfully I had New York to go to, but truthfully this crowd of lowlifes offers nothing positive to the benefit of the general public. All these types aside, neo-hippy trash has got to chill out. I was initially upset by the lack of hippy music at this year's Vegoose Festival that I will once again be attending, but after my experience on Saturday, good riddance to them and a nice warm welcome to this years attendees.

I say we now all jump on the bandwagon and scream for Denny Hastert's head on a platter. Good day to you all and don't forget to do only humorous and non-offensive things the next time you decide to drink: save the offensive things for when you are sober so that you at least have a scapegoat sealed in a 750ml bottle


Blogger misterlister said...

I think that the whole scandal involving politicians touching little boys would be best cleared up if Mick Foley took his congressional seat.
Has anybody seen the newest round of Chevy truck commercials where John Cougar croons that "This Is Our Country" to a backdrop of images of 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, and Chevy trucks? I hope I'm not the only one who thinks this commercial is absolutely wretched. I mean, where the fuck does this guy get off telling me that I should be driving a Chevy truck just because our nation has had more than its fair share of shitstorms during the past few years? From my vantage point, Chevy trucks guzzle gas and contribute to global warming, thus lining the pockets of the Bin Laden family and causing more hurricanes. Screw yourselves, GM and John Cougar. (Sorry for the rant on a blog that isn't mine)

Blogger Gregory Weiss said...

I'd like to address the motivations of these neo-hippies that Sir Blogger justly labeled as straying far from true hippy doctorine. After years of thorough observation and accumulated contempt for these lost souls, I think that hippies, like any other marginalized group that dresses in such a fashion so as to guarantee their rejection by mainstream society, are simply...confused. It probably begins with a desire for acceptance / a new identity / a way to fit into the world, wherein the soon-to-be wannabe decides that he / she needs a change of pace. As an adolescent, most do not have the money to begin a new hobby, as most hobbies cost money, so what better way to dive right into a new identity than to wear clothes that most upstanding citizens would throw / give away? Next come the drugs, which are a relatively inexpensive hobby unto themselves, and once these shabbily clad teens are popping chemicals and feelings good about themselves, they then get right into the jam band scene.
So there it is: the origine of neo-fake-hippies is teenage confusion / existential funk ----> needing a way to define oneself ----> cost-effective identification to a group mentality through common, self-imposed marginalization ----> drugs that make you forget everything except chilling out and doing more drugs ----> jam band fanaticism ----> new identity. Sir Liss, while you may be a chilled out, Birkenstock-wearing individual who is at peace with his surroundings, you also bathe regularly and adhere to American capitalist ideology rather than isolated and futile political statements with no better idea than the status quo (my definition of a hippy).

Blogger Adam said...

Thank you misterlister for your time. I've been meaning to respond, and was then lucky enough to catch that same Chevy ad during the most awesome Mets game last night. I definitely would like to go postal on the marketing staff at GM that came up with that one. My guess is that they funded the lynch mobs and KKK rather than supported Rosa Parks, so I'd really like to kick them in the nuts for that one. I'm going to respond by saying I'm never buying a Chevy ever. Oh wait, I'm not a jackass and love the Japanese too much so that shouldn't be an issue, despite the fact that we were once both proud owners of a Pontiac Grand Am. For those of you unaware of the circumstances, it was a purely circumstantial reason why we owned said Pontiac. John Mellancamp is officially a giant douche

Blogger Adam said...

Sir Weiss, thank you for your follow up and distinction between myself and those that we make fun of. I really think you're on to something there and maybe they'll only continue to smoke pot because once again it seems to be prevailing as the only true hippy nature that can coexist with the rest of society.

I've actually deemed my Birkenstocks the most uncomfortable things ever so I don't even wear them anymore, but maybe there is a distinction between local metro area high schoolers, their budget dejection from the world, and thus becoming damn annoying neo crackhead hippies. Maybe they are one and the same...Hooray for capitalism


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