Party Pooper Returns

I've enjoyed a friend's wedding, been to Fire Island, and been to Southampton over the past few weeks, but this wedding tale beats it all and might actually match up with the infamous Party Pooper of Southampton 2005:

[14:40] CoWorker#1: the wedding i was at
[14:40] CoWorker#1: someone took a poop on the dance floor
[14:40] CoWorker#1: literally
[14:40] coworker#2: what????????????
[14:41] coworker#2: ahem what?
[14:41] CoWorker#1: everyone was dancing
[14:41] CoWorker#1: the party was rockin
[14:41] CoWorker#1: then i smelled poop
[14:41] CoWorker#1: looked over
[14:41] coworker#2: ROFL
[14:41] CoWorker#1: saw the whole dance floor clear off
[14:41] coworker#2: what?????????
[14:41] CoWorker#1: and there was a turd on the floor
[14:41] coworker#2: come on
[14:41] CoWorker#1: someone shit on the dance floor
[14:41] coworker#2: lol
[14:41] CoWorker#1: i swear to god
[14:41] coworker#2: u have GOT to be kidding
[14:42] coworker#2: who the fuck did that?
[14:42] coworker#2: and WHY
[14:42] CoWorker#1: im assuming it was an elderly lady
[14:42] CoWorker#1: or at least hoping htat was the case
[14:42] coworker#2: oh NO
[14:42] coworker#2: i hope not a hot chick
[14:42] coworker#2: how dou squueze a turd onto the fllor?
[14:42] coworker#2: dont people wear underpants?
[14:42] CoWorker#1: had to be a female without underoos
[14:43] coworker#2: oh man
[14:43] coworker#2: that IS HORRENDOUS
[14:43] coworker#2: im crying btw
[14:43] coworker#2: thats a first
[14:43] coworker#2: so no one knew who did it????
[14:43] coworker#2: i mean
[14:43] CoWorker#1: nope
[14:43] coworker#2: u cant poop on the dance fl and get away w it
[14:43] CoWorker#1: someone did!
[14:44] coworker#2: what??
[14:44] CoWorker#1: someon shit the dance floor
[14:44] coworker#2: i mean
[14:44] CoWorker#1: and got off clean
[14:44] CoWorker#1: lol
[14:44] coworker#2: that person had to have gone home
[14:44] coworker#2: who fuckin cleaned it up
[14:44] CoWorker#1: the caterer
[14:45] coworker#2: r u serious?
[14:45] CoWorker#1: 100%
[14:45] coworker#2: cleaned up someones shit??
[14:45] coworker#2: oh god
[14:45] CoWorker#1: lol
[14:45] coworker#2: i dont get who does that
[14:45] CoWorker#1: in the middle of the dance floor
[14:45] coworker#2: LOL
[14:45] coworker#2: unreal
[14:47] CoWorker#1: yes
[14:47] CoWorker#1: unreal
[14:47] CoWorker#1: and
[14:47] CoWorker#1: HYSTERICAL!
[14:48] coworker#2: i cant
[14:48] coworker#2: believe this
[14:48] coworker#2: this is preposterous
[14:48] CoWorker#1: believe it
[14:49] CoWorker#1: someone SHIT on the dancefloor
[14:49] coworker#2: dude
[14:49] coworker#2: i mean
[14:49] coworker#2: were people just fuckin skeeved out?
[14:49] CoWorker#1: yeah man
[14:49] CoWorker#1: the place cleared out

I love it when people go to weddings and get an easy story for me, this is a total Caddyshack moment: